woo xmas bonus!
...
so you'll notice there aren't any drawings up top. i was drawing tonight, and had a nice fire going in the fireplace. one of those dura-flame logs, only i got the environmentally safe ones that burn cleaner or whatever. the problem with them though, is the flame starts to crap out 1hr into a 4hr log. so about that time i usually start throwing hunks of chainsaw'd pallet on top to keep the fire heating the studio. so i did that. i threw a hunk of pallet on top of the crapped out duraflame log. pretty much instantly the fire got taller, and the warmth started happening again. i dragged my little drawing table a bit closer to the fire so i could feel it on my back. i had a nice cuppa tetley going, and it's raining and windy outside. cozy eh? drawing, tea fireplace? so i draw for a little bit more and i start smelling this "hot" smell, like when you put too high a rating of lightbulb into a fixture and it just warms up too much. so i look at the fire and it's pretty decent high now but it doesnt look right. it _looks_ like the chunk of pallet has been soaked in gas or oil or something and is just burning like it's little chunky heart depended on it. i get up and go over to the fireplace and put my hand on the chimney a little. my fireplace is one of those stands in the middle of the floor open hearth with a big 12" chimney/flue dealie. the chimney doesnt usually get more than just moderately warm. only now it was hot. dead hot. hot on my fingers that are touching it and not expecting it hot. well this isn't right. i step outside and look at the top of the chimney, which extends maybe 2' above the studio roof. MOTHER FUCKING SPARKS AND CHUNKS OF SPARKS ARE COMING OUT OF IT. now i didnt grow up with a fireplace but i'm pretty sure this is dead-wrong. so i start freaking out. the smoke looks bad and sparks are flying every which way but extinguishing pretty quickly (it's raining + windy remember?) so i could just let it burn i guess right? i step back into the studio still pretty panicky and notice that it's a wall of smoke. well this isn't quite right at all so i grab the fire extinguisher from the wall and pull the pin. i aim it while standing back from the bonfire in my studio and shoot. the flame goes out! instantly! only, now there is a lot of smoke. A LOT. i step back outside and it looks like my studio has turned steam-engine. the smoke coming out now is laying low to the ground and sweeping over the barn behind us and into that street. shit. uh. shit. oh, and it's a duraflame log right? right. it's like sizzling fire-goo. they call it napalm most other places. this shit won't stay dead. i'm not very prepared for bonfires and such so i dont have big steel tongs. what i do have is a completely soaked outside fire pit and a bunch of stacked up tiki torches. i clear the way to the firepit and reomve the heavy steel lid. i pick up the still smoldering-but-wants-to-grow-up-and-be-fire pallet chunk using the tiki torch handles as tongs and waddle it to the pit. i pour a bucket or two of water on it just to be safe. the fucking fire goo is still burning in the studio so i pour a bucket into my hearth. that seems to do it and it smokes less and less till it just stops. since i was outside a lot, and it's rainy and windy i'm soaked. oh, and now i have ash, soot, fire extinguisher white powder stuff and water all over. but i've gotta get it clean, ern comes home in an hour or two! so i cleaned it up and set up a water trap for the hearth runoff. then i decide to back. away. slowly. i had thought about just drawing some more but i figured i had better leave well enough alone and skedaddle. the fire chunk in the fire pit and the fire goo were both out so i left some windows cracked to clear the smoke and backed. out. slowly. nothing is coming out of the chimney and all seems dead.

what really got me going during part of it was this firetruck pulling to a stop at it's destination sound out front. i thought for sure my neighbors had called the fire dept. on the chimney bellowing smoke + fire. i'm still soaking wet right now and i've got soot all over my powerbook, but i have a fresh cuppa tetley and i'm going to just sit in here and read and pretend like nothing happened till i casually mention it to ern when she gets home.